Friday Favorites: True Masculinity (A.K.A. Men Being REAL Men)

One time I went on a first date with a guy. He was a nice guy, but I was still deciding about my level of attraction to him and whether this was something that could go further or not. Everything was going really well...good conversation on the way to dinner, good restaurant choice (pricey enough to be classy but not so expensive you know he's trying too hard), good connection. I was starting to think that maybe I could have a possible future with this guy...until the food came. We thanked the waiter and I asked my date (who had told me he was a Christian), "Shall we pray?"
"Sure," he replied. I bowed my head expectantly. Three seconds went by..six...ten...finally I looked up and asked, "I though we were gonna pray...?"
Surprise filled his face. "Wait, you want ME to do it?!" He was incredulous.
Me: "Well...yeah...."
Him: "Oh...no."
Me: "No?" (My turn to look surprised).
Him: "Yeah...no....I don't pray out loud. Or with people. Prayer is kind of private."
Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I said, "Oh...okay. I don't really agree. But that's okay, I'll pray."
Him (squirming): "I'd really rather you didn't. Not out loud anyways. It's awkward. We don't want to make anyone uncomfortable..."

The rest of the date was wonderful. NOT. I prayed anyway, he got uncomfortable...I got uncomfortable that he was uncomfortable over something that, for me, was so...comfortable. Needless to say...GAME OVER.
As I pondered the evening, I realized the main source of my disappointment was not a futureless first and last date, but rather a general discouragement at the loss of masculine courage and standards. Where were all the real men?

Somewhere along the line, probably somewhere between Adam following Eve's lead with the whole forbidden fruit fiasco and the feminist movement that continues to be incessantly perpetuated, guys gave up trying to be real men. Now I realize that women have certainly played their fair share in this and I will address that in a different post on another day, but today I must admit that the shortage of real men out there both bewilders and saddens me. I could focus on the negative with that, but thankfully I feel positive today...plus it's Friday...which means instead of mourning the loss of the many men who have surrendered their masculinity, I will instead highlight the joy I feel at the strong few that have held firm. Real men are rare and few and far between, but they exist, and I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who favors them.

What makes a real man? As much as I get a good chuckle out of Brad Paisley's I'm Still a Guy, masculinity is not defined by the number of antlers hanging on a guy's wall or the number of touchdowns he scored in high school or what type of vehicle he drives. I've known plenty of hunters, football players, and truck drivers who were cowardly and even effeminate. To define masculinity by our culture's definition of a man is missing the mark. If you look at our society's"man's man", he does not really have much to brag about. A man's man has a high-paying job and earns a lot of money, some will say...but maybe he is also a workaholic who doesn't make time for his kids, or who invests more in his stock options than his wife's heart. A man's man is one with many conquests, society says...but these days his "conquests" are usually women, and his lack of commitment and integrity and indiscretions are hardly characteristics to be lauded. A man's man is powerful and successful, says our culture...but often his power has come to him through manipulation and brutishness, and his success is measured more by the size of his bank account than the strength of his character.

None of this is to say that rich, successful, powerful men cannot be masculine...but be careful not to draw conclusions that their wealth and power are what make them manly. On the contrary, if they are "real men" practicing true masculinity, it is likely that they have achieved these statuses by the wisdom and strength of their character, and that they regard their wealth and power with humility and caution. I would argue that a man cannot possess true masculinity without a strong character, and vice versa. A man's man....is a man of God.

God created masculinity and femininity both, and here I come to a tricky subject. One cannot really say that God is "a male"--this is a description that is wrapped up in the physical, and God is, in His essence, Spirit. But no one can deny that certain attributes of masculinity--man as the protector, provider, leader, spiritual head--are purely reflective of who God is. The Bible gives us the model of Christ and His bride, the Church, as a template for what godly marriage should look like. There is a reason that Christ represents the husband...the masculine roles assigned to the husband are directly correlated with Christ's character. Thus, a man is at his best when his life looks like Christ's...and Christ was a real man. He was and is the ultimate Provider, Protector, Leader, Head. He demonstrates masculinity in its fullest sense. One of my favorite pastors put it much better than I can:

When I say masculine Christianity or masculine ministry or Christianity with a masculine feel, here's what I mean: Theology and church and mission are marked by an overarching godly male leadership in the spirit of Christ with an ethos of tender-hearted strength, contrite courage, risk-taking decisiveness, and readiness to sacrifice for the sake of leading and protecting and providing for the community. All of which is possible only through the death and resurrection of Jesus. It's the feel of a great, majestic God who is by His redeeming work in Christ inclining men to humble Christ-exalting initiatives and inclining women to come alongside those men with joyful support, intelligent helpfulness, and fruitful partnership in the work.

John Piper

Now I realize I may have soundly offended all the feminists out there, and that's okay. A few years ago, I would have gotten my feathers ruffled too. I was buying into the lie that men and women aren't different, that we are equal in every way, that I should be independent and self-sufficient and in charge. Let me emphasize once again: THAT IS A LIE! Yet, every day women are jumping on that bandwagon, and the men that long ago stopped trying to assert themselves as men have, ironically enough, jumped on it too. These so-called men are touting women's rights and taking advantage of their opportunity to sit back and get comfortable without doing the tough job they're called to do. A man supporting feminism is not supportive...he is, at best, misguided, and most likely at worst, lazy. A real man lovingly, gently, but firmly shows a wife what true leadership looks like and fulfills his role so she can fulfill hers. 

Now, ladies, I will admit...submitting and staying in my role is hard as all get out. The natural, sinful woman in me is dying to gain control....to tell my husband how to do this and that, to be "independent". But it never works. It never satisfies....just like anything that goes against God's plan. I can say this with a clear conscience...in all my years of "being independent", doing it my way, leading instead of following...not once did I feel as liberated as I do when I'm staying inside my role and submitting to my husband. It is so freeing to walk in the center of God's will, to surrender that control and trust that even if my husband makes a mistake, God will ultimately take care of me because I am being obedient. 

As I have gone on a little tangent about a passion of mine, I will now redirect myself back to the main thing I wanted to share with you today. I love having a husband who is a real man. He's an athlete, he's strong, he plays guitar....but none of those things are what I associate with his masculinity. My husband is a real man because he lovingly but firmly corrects me when I'm wrong. Here's a confession: as much as I detest being wrong...I secretly sort of love it when he does this. The pride in me rears its ugly head at being corrected, but this feminine part of me feels secure, resting in the fact that he corrects me because he loves me and admiring him for doing the harder but better thing. I have a strong personality and I'm quite certain it's not easy to put me in my place, but he does it anyway. And we are both better for it. My husband is at his most masculine when he makes decisions for our family, even when I don't always agree. While there are times when I just want my opinion factored in, there's a greater part of me that feels safe when my husband comes to a decision on his own with assurance and boldness and commitment. My husband is at his most masculine when he pursues me relentlessly, the way he did when we were dating...the way he still does when my emotions run away with me.

Before meeting my husband, I didn't know what true masculinity was. I certainly knew what it wasn't. It wasn't a guy that couldn't pray out loud, with me, for me...a guy that wasn't comfortable enough in his manhood to be obedient instead of conforming. It was not a guy who broke up a very serious relationship with me over the phone because he couldn't face the consequences of doing it face to face. It would never be a guy that let me make all the decisions, dictate the relationship...a guy who gave me whatever I wanted but nothing I needed.

But my husband showed me the meaning of real manhood. It meant declaring his intention to marry me well before I knew he was the right one...because he wasn't afraid to be bold and to fight for what he wanted. It meant getting extra work so he could buy me a stunningly beautiful ring because he wanted me to know that I was worth the sacrifice. It meant overcoming every obstacle that came up along the way--and believe me, there were quite a few--in order to win his bride forever. And just last week, it meant opening his heart to the whole congregation with tears in his eyes, sharing his love for his wife and his gratitude for our first year of marriage... unashamed, bold, real. Whoever said real men don't cry was a fool. If you don't believe me...look up John 11:35.

This post is dedicated to the men pursuing biblical manhood and stepping up when the world is telling them to back down. It is especially dedicated to my most favorite man Joel...who is the real deal. 

Until next time,

Chels

Highs and Lows

Hi friends! I realized yesterday that it has been entirely too long since I published a new post. Life is BUSY!! This is actually something I'm very thankful for, because I definitely went through a few weeks where boredom threatened to eat me alive. Boredom, I've found, leads to intense loneliness, which leads to depressing and totally counterproductive pity parties...which all just add up to bring me low. Combined with my husband's late night work schedule , the boredom/loneliness/self-pity all translated into me acting like a pathetic mess mope for a few days. Thankfully, I realized that moping solves nothing, so I needed to cut off my loneliness at the source...I needed to fill up my time.

I started praying the Lord would bring me some things to keep me busy (and help with finances!), and He was faithful as always. I got a part-time job as Clinical Records Coordinator for a counseling office, and just last week I was hired teach Play and Learn classes for ages 0-5 at Gymboree. It's the perfect combination for me...enough adult time to feel sane, yet a healthy dose of playing with kiddos, which is one of my favorite things ever. Now, instead of being bored, I have very little free time, but it's definitely the preferred option. Unfortunately, Joel and I have opposite schedules so we don't get to see each other much, apart from Sundays (one of Chick-fil-A's biggest perks!), but we're hoping that changes. Until then, we're putting a lot of extra effort into making our time together really count.

I thought the best way to catch everyone up might be to give a few highs and lows from the last few weeks. We used to always do "highs and lows" at community group, and I always found that was the easiest way to remember what's been going on and highlight the most important parts. The first low, obviously, is just that we still are homesick and we don't get to hang out together much. Finances are also difficult right now. On the flip side of that, we are very thankful to have jobs, and the Lord has been faithful to provide for us...always a high!

I'm trying to think of another low, but most of what comes to mind right now are good things! This is definitely a high in and of itself, since I was so down a few weeks ago. This is probably God's way of reminding me to dwell on positive and good things, so I think I will just share a few more highs and be encouraged that the blessings in life are far outweighing the challenges. This is certainly not always the case, but for now, I will simply rejoice in the fact that the Lord is loving us and taking care of us in tangible ways.

My top 7 :
1) We have made some wonderful friends here in Willoughby. We have met several amazing couples/families, and we are so thankful to be building relationships with people. There is a wonderful couple that we hang out with a lot and we are 100% sure God put them in our lives to remind us how much he loves us because they are so awesome!
2) Worship at church has been so Spirit-filled and we've really had the opportunity to see God do some big things at WBC, both in our hearts and the hearts of others in the church.
3) I am super excited about working at Gymboree and getting to be around kids during some of the week. I loved being a nanny and have really been missing those interactions. I am so thankful to have this opportunity. Aren't kids the best?
4) My sweet husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary last weekend. He brought me beautiful flowers, along with buying me some lovely gifts--including French cheeses and strawberry champagne tea from Teavana! He's so amazing!
5) Last week, some of our friends from Sojourn, Tate and Kristen Mason, were in Ohio visiting some friends so we met them for breakfast in Northfield. It was such a blessing to see friends from home.
6) My mom, two sisters, and their puppy came to visit for 5 whole days! We had sooooo much fun...shopping, going out to eat, taking walks in the park, going to the farmer's market. My mom blessed us so generously in countless ways, and it was so hard to see them leave. I am so grateful they got to come though!
7) After much debate, I decided to become an official redhead. I am really liking it. These pictures are not the optimum quality since I just took it with my computer camera, but here's an idea:  
                                                     

7) Hanging out with my favorite puppy love, Pippa. She is SUCH a special dog. I adore her and miss her so much. How could anyone not love this face?

I'm sure I could go on, but those are the major highlights of the last couple weeks. I hope this post encourages you to look for the blessings in your life and thank God for how good He is to us. What are your highs for the week?

Until next time,

Chels

Friday Favorites: Grace (Part 1)

Hello all. It has been an busy week. The hubby has been working strange hours and I started my new job as Clinical Records Coordinator at a counseling office, so we haven't seen each other as much as usual, but such is life. We had the opportunity to lead worship at church last week and will do so again this Sunday. It is something we truly love doing and the Lord really blesses us and teaches us a lot through it (even when microphones malfunction and technical difficulties ensue!). God has been so good to us, and this is a truth that washes over me every single time I worship. In fact, when Joel and I are leading together, there are times when I will glance over at him and remember all we've been through and  be completely overcome by how big and how good and how gracious God is to us.

There's a running joke among some of our family members that Joel and I are overly attached to grace...that we talk about it ALL THE TIME, that we elevate grace to its own level, that even the word grace has a special meaning to us. Hubby often tells people about how one of our sisters once asked him if we were going to name all of our daughters Grace or just one. She wasn't too far off. GRACE, for us, is the most definitive aspect of who we are, as individuals, as a married couple, as Christians, as inhabitants of this earth. It is the foundation of the most meaningful relationships we have...with our family members, with each other, with our Savior.

Some would say that we emphasize grace over other important aspects of being a Christian...over love, or joy, or obedience. That's probably accurate, at least if one is referring to what we talk about most or what holds the most passion in our hearts. Joel likes to say that we begin and end with grace. It is the default that we fall back on in every situation, because it is the reason we're even here, both literally and figuratively. Without grace, we would not be saved, we would not be here in Willoughby, we would not be the Wisleys, we would likely not even be alive. Grace has brought us to this point; it will carry us to the end.

As a child in Christian school and Sunday school, I learned that typical grace definition fairly quickly. What is grace? the teacher would ask. Undeserved favor! we'd all shout. When I think about that definition now, all that comes to mind is, What a boring and incomplete way to describe what Jesus does for us! Undeserved favor...that's like what the naughty kid at the birthday party gets when he waits in line for his goody bag with all the other kids. The parent handing out the treat bag isn't thinking, You get this treat bag because I love you...no, he's thinking, thank goodness this party's over; now take this bag full of candy and Dollar Tree junk and go torture your own parents. Grace is SO much more than undeserved favor.

First of all, undeserved implies that one did nothing to earn it. This just doesn't even begin to tell the whole story. It's not that we are undeserving; it's that we are hell-deserving. It's not just that we didn't do anything to earn it; it's that we did everything in our power to go against it. We literally spit in the face of our holy Creator who offered us eternal life and we do it again every day when we choose sin over His way. That's a little more offensive than just undeserving. And favor? Well, favor is just so mild and dull sounding. In fact, every time I hear it, I think of twelve old men sitting around a conference table, with someone saying in a tired voice, All in favor, say, "Aye"....Aye, they all respond. Yeah, favor doesn't really cover what Jesus did for us either. Insanely crazy forgiveness? Inconceivable, awe-inspiring sacrifice? Senseless, scandalous, wrath-satisfying, ransoming, all-consuming, atoning forever LOVE? Well, that's getting a little closer.

Can we throw that definition out? Across the world, there are millions of kids chanting: Grace is unmerited favor... instead of understanding the whole truth: that this huge, perfect, HOLY God has done for them what they are utterly incapable of doing for themselves. He has reversed the sentence, absorbed the punishment, set us free, and adopted us as his forever. If you want a shorter definition, look no further than Romans 5:8: While we were STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us.  He didn't die looking to who we might become in him...he died knowing our entire identity was still wrapped up in being an enemy of God, a hater of righteousness...murderers, thieves, prostitutes, gluttons, adulterers, cheaters, liars. When we were at our very worst...that's when he died.

Maybe you're reading this and you're thinking, she's a bit extreme...she probably hasn't committed all those sins. She seems like a good person. I will say a few things in response to that. 1) I am extreme. Extreme salvation from extreme sin and ugliness produces extreme thinking. 2) In some way or another, I can assure you, I've committed all those sins and more. And 3) If you're thinking I'm a good person, you're not my husband or my mother (two people who have DEFINITELY seen me at my worst), and you don't know me very well. On my own, I am wretched and wrecked. You see, you might notice my smile or little acts of kindnesses I do and conclude that I am good, but you don't see my darkest thoughts or the ugliest parts of my heart. Even my husband doesn't see those. Those are pieces of myself I keep hidden far from sight, so that no one will know. But Someone does. And here's the crazy part...He chose me and loves me anyway.

Here's where it gets even crazier. I'm not just one of those people that has little sins hidden away on the inside. There are also a lot of sins...big ones, BAD ones, by the world's standards...that I've committed openly, willingly, repeatedly. Thankfully, because of Jesus, those days are behind me and I pray they will be forever. But I'm not a good person by anyone's standards. My record's got a lot of red in it...if you look at it through the lens of the world's memory. When Jesus looks at it, though, it's clean and pure and perfect. Because my record has been replaced by His.

But I'll always know how the record used to read. Don't misunderstand me here; I know it, but I don't dwell on it, or beat myself up over it, or identify myself as guilty. That is NOT what Jesus wants. But I never forget. I will never deny how far I fell before Jesus pulled me up out of the sludge and grime and ashes to make me clean. I will never ignore how close I came to falling off the edge of that slippery slope once it became a cliff. Neither will my husband. You see, if we fail to remember the magnitude of what Christ did for us when he died in our place on that cross, we miss out on understanding the truth about His grace...how it is much bigger and stronger and more loving and far-reaching than we could ever imagine. That's why grace means so much to us...because we know the unfathomable magnitude of grace needed to save us. We ran as far and as hard from His plan as we could. And STILL....He pursued us and saved us.

 If someone falls down and you help them stand back up, they are thankful. But what if someone else jumps headfirst into a deep pit that is filled with vipers and poisonous snakes, and they are bitten repeatedly until they know they are going to die? What if they can't even see the top of the pit anymore because it's so dark, and they can't fathom ever coming out alive....what if you jump in after that person, and rescue him and take his place among the snakes? What if before you get him out, you give them the antidote that will counteract the venom in his veins, and give him the chance to live life as one who has been pulled out the pit and healed? Which man will love you more? The one you pulled up after a stumble to the ground? Or the one who was lost and hopeless and dying in a dark, poisonous pit until you found him and gave him hope and a new life?

Joel and I were in our own snake pits, and not just once either. Jesus met us where we were and rescued us. He forgave us for how we had disobeyed and defied Him time and again. He gave us new names and a new story. He showed us how to forgive each other and see each other as who we are in Him. He wiped our records clean and healed the wounds we had inflicted on ourselves over a lifetime of choosing our ways over His. Some of the scars from that old life remain. But even those are redeemed. They are precious reminders of the place He found us and how far He carried us into freedom. Scars don't have to be ugly...they can be beautiful...like those made by nail holes in the hands of the One who  extended us grace and rescued us from the pit.

We are obsessed with grace. But if you've been trapped in a pit like we were, you know why. We were lost, we were blind...we were dead. But Jesus found us, and gave us our sight...and raised us to new life. And we'll never be able to stop obsessing over it.

Until next time,
Chels

Friday Favorites: The Quest for Knowledge (and other nerd things)

Hello, friends! Thanks to all who checked out the pictures of our house from my last post, and for the kind and encouraging comments I received from many of you. As I am sitting here waiting for Husband to get home from work, I realized it's Friday, and that means I need to post about one of my favorite things. As I meandered through several topics in my mind, I realized two things: 1. I am going to need to at least attempt to be sneaky subtle in how much I write about things of a culinary nature (aka, I can't always just write about food/drink, despite the fact that they make up about 92.6% of my favorite things in life, and that they are always what come to mind first when thinking of a topic). And, 2. I am a nerd. I MUST be, because following the several food passions that came to mind, the passions I immediately thought of included reading books, the study of languages, and being a grammar nazi (all topics to come in the future...hold onto your seats!).

In all fairness, the truth that I am a nerd is not a recent realization; my husband reminds of this fact nearly daily, but it does come to my attention more often at times like these. Usually, when we're talking about my nerdiness, it is in reference to my academic record, my use of "big words", or the fact that a book can hold my attention better than most people. As it relates to my topic today, I realized I am also a nerd in the sense that I am in love with interested in a lot of things that others are not. I was pretty sure that this was one aspect of being a nerd, so I looked up "nerd" in Miriam Webster's dictionary. I was less than pleased with the results:

an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.

I am okay with the second half of that, although slavishly is probably pushing it; the first half, though, is downright rude and I certainly hope, NOT descriptive of me. Thankfully, THIS socially adept person is aware of a little invention called urbandictionary.com, and I will from this point forever use its definitions of nerd:

1. One whose IQ exceeds his weight
2. Never. Ending. Radical. Dude.
3. Someone who enjoys learning and obtaining new information in general for its own sake, often without discrimination to different areas of knowledge. The key to recognizing a nerd is if they are completely indifferent to the application of what they learn; they are not inherently inclined to use or not to use the information.
NOTE: Someone who is a nerd could also be a geek, who is passionate about highly specific interests, or a dork, who is a social outcast, but they do not have to be!!!

::: Yes, I do realize that the fact that I not only researched two dictionary definitions, but actually included them in this post is further proof of my nerdiness. The irony is not lost on me. :::

Irony and silly definitions aside, I really do identify with that third definition from urbandictionary...knowledge for knowledge's sake. . I really do LOVE to learn. It doesn't really matter what it's about; I just know I'm always going to be one of those people that enjoys learning new things. I enjoy reading about new things, discussing new things, listening to others talk about new things, and...yes, I will say it: I actually kind of enjoy research and studying. There is something so refreshing and inspiring about learning about something about which you previously knew nothing. And the coolest thing I've discovered is that learning doesn't have to be in an academic setting. I love the academic setting; that's where I've learned much of what I know. But for many of you, the mere thought of school is enough to send you running for the hills. For example, my dear husband, who claims to not like to read (crazy, I know), does not enjoy school/academics/typical nerd things. Make no mistake, he is VERY intelligent and bright; he just did not like school. But he knows so much! Much of his learning has come from outside an academic setting. He learns by doing. This is amazing to me, and something that has really inspired me to open my mind to new ways of learning. I was always a book learner...and that is still my automatic default. Yet, there are so many things that are better learned experientially. 

Let me offer an example. If we have something in our house that breaks, and in the very rare case that my husband does not already know how to fix it, he will NOT look up the manual for how to fix it. Not until that is the absolute last resort. No, Joel must figure it out. He takes the broken item, turns it over, pokes here and there, tries this and that, and 9 times out of 10, he fixes it pretty quickly. Usually, he not only fixes it, but improves the quality with some personal alteration that he adds. As for me, the nerd, I am the one usually hovering over him saying, "Hey, why don't we get the manual?"
Joel: "It's okay, I've got it."
Me: "What if you break it more?"
Joel: "I won't."
Me: "You sure?"
Joel: "Yep."
Me: "I'll get the manual."
At which point I retreat to the bedroom and spend an hour flipping through the thing trying to find out what to do in this scenario. By the time I've found it, the thing's been fixed+improved  à la Joel, and the truth is, an hour later, I won't be able to tell you how to fix it, despite my in depth manual research. On the flip side, because Joel has figured it out on his own and fixed it, he'll ALWAYS know what to do if it ever breaks again. Or if he ever encounters a remotely similar situation. 

I have been trying to add experiential learning as a solution to my thirst for knowledge. The truth is, the older I get, the harder it becomes to remember some of the book knowledge I acquired many years ago. But the things I teach myself by doing...well, so far, they've stayed forever. I'm glad my husband has really highlighted this for me. There is so much to be said for experiential learning, and I can't wait to incorporate this with my own kids one day.

While that is very true, I will also never stop wanting to read and learn through the written word. I could probably write 354 posts on why I love to read and still never cover it all, but in the interest of staying on this particular topic, I will only say that reading allows you to learn about anything you want. Truly. There is a book out there on every topic, and if not a book, then a journal article; if not an article, there's always the world wide web, wikipedia, and blogs. We literally have access to learning about anything we want, and it amazes me how often I forget to take advantage of this. These days, you don't even have to look for it....just scroll through your facebook newsfeed and click on the first three linked articles your nerd friends put in their statuses, and you'll learn three new things every day. It's AMAZING! We are so blessed.

Maybe a lot of you are reading this now and thinking, I just don't care about learning. If that's you, I'm not judging you. I don't think everyone should be like me and take online Spanish for the fun of it, or voluntarily watch a video on how to properly chop garlic, or take a summer class during college "just because" (all true). I don't think everyone needs to be interested in knowledge for the sake of knowledge. But I would challenge you with this: while you may not be interested in learning about everything, I know you're interested in learning about something. So do yourself a favor...think of something you've always wanted to know about, or know how to do...and take a little time to learn about it. It probably won't take long. Read an article, watch a video, or, for the more adventurous and less busy among us, enroll in a class. Yeah, yeah, that's a nerdy thing to do. But at the end of the day, you'll be glad you did it. You may even like being able to identify with nerds like me. We're really not so bad :)

Until next time,
Chels

Our New Home: How to Decorate for Almost Nothing AND Still Keep Your Marriage Intact

Hello, all! It's been a little while since my last post. I have been very busy trying to get our home in order, and by in order, I mean completely decorated and looking as homey and cozy as I can make it. I'm pretty sure my incessant need to get it all completed (aka my need for Joel to hang 2 dozen or more pictures/sconces/other decorative items on the walls) came fairly close to pushing my husband over the edge, but thankfully, he was a trouper and we managed to come away with our relationship relatively unscathed. God is good. Joel is more of a leisurely pace kind of guy about pretty much everything, so I know it was tough for him to understand my need to get the house "finished" asap. As I told him, the sooner my house feels like a home, the sooner I can begin thinking of Willoughby as home...plus I knew that having all my pictures and valuables on display would help with the homesickness. And it truly has. This place finally feels like home, and I am pretty content with how it turned out, although the process of getting to this point had its, shall we say, rough spots. I can tell you that Joel encouraged (ahem, commanded) me to "sit down and take a break" several times in my frenetic frenzy as I rushed from room to room like a chicken with my head cut off making decisions about what went where. Those encouragements were slightly hard to swallow. I may have had a good cry in the middle of the bedroom floor because I couldn't decide how to arrange the pictures on the wall in the guest room. I also may have gotten a little high pitched and screechy over the placement of the clock on the wall in the kitchen. I definitely scared my poor husband out of his wits a few times as he wondered what would possess a woman to bawl her eyes out over whether a cluster of pictures should be positioned symmetrically or asymmetrically. While I tried to explain that women are like spaghetti, and that my homesickness was closely tied in with my decorating woes, his compartmentalized, waffle-like brain just couldn't make the connection. Thankfully, even though he didn't understand, he is incredibly compassionate and graciously showed me love in the midst of my meltdown(s).

And we persevered! The house is pretty much decorated (as much as I can afford right now), and I can finally relax. Occasionally my husband does catch me scrutinizing the placement some object or photo cluster on the wall, and immediately lets me know in no uncertain terms that I can analyze the heck out of it, but it ain't movin'. So much for perfectionism. I do understand his adamance, though. After all, I did decide that the 7 various sized frames we received as a wedding gift needed to form the focal point of the main living room wall.  This would not have really been that big of an issue, except for the fact that I decided I didn't like any of the placement templates provided with the picture frame set and said we would just make our own. Strike one. I organized the pictures how I wanted them on the floor and then told me husband just to make them look exactly like that on the wall. I told Joel it needed to be the perfect balance of "whimsical and classical...basically asymmetrically symmetrical". Strike two. Then after he had hung all seven, I pointed out that he had measured to the nail holes on one half of the arrangement, and to the outer frame on the other half, so they were too asymmetrical. Strike three. I suddenly picked up on the cue that it was time for me to leave the room, which I did. In the end, with a dozen extra nail holes later, all the pictures got hung exactly how I'd envisioned them. I have the best, most patient husband in the world. Not to mention that he is super talented at doing all kinds of handyman things that I could never do on my own.

Despite the waterworks, I took a lot of joy in decorating my house, and I enjoyed the challenge of decorating it on a shoestring budget. After pinterest-ing and googling a bit, I realized that you don't have to have much money to make your home look nice. Three things made all the difference in this realization. 1: Reusing old things in new places/ways. 2: Dedicated bargain hunting. 3: The Dollar Tree. Yes, I said it. Judge me if you want, but seven pictures frames for seven bucks is unbeatable. I also took advantage of Walmart's photo center, and my little photo printer I got as a present from a friend several years ago. Photos are one of the best ways to add a little fun and color to your home without breaking the bank. For example, in my little bathroom, I already had an adorable shower curtain (that had gotten thrown in in the world's best craigslist find two summers ago); I just needed a little something to put on the wall to make it look homey. The shower curtain is black and white with an abstract Parisian theme, with drawings of the Eiffel Tower and other French places/themes on it. I dug out my pictures from my trip to France four years ago and did a little iPhoto editing to tweak them. I selected two of my favorite pictures of the Eiffel Tower that I had taken, made them black and whites, and got them printed at Walmart. I also wrote a little note to Paris using my calligraphy pens, took a picture of that, edited it, printed it, and voila....three cute pictures to hang in my bathroom. I bought black frames at the Dollar Tree, and $7 later, my bathroom was complete. Here is a picture (not the best shot, but you get the idea) :

For the guest bedroom, I used a gorgeous quilt that I had used for one year in college and then stored and forgot about till recently. I also printed some pretty colored pictures off the computer that complemented my bedding got Dollar Tree frames for those. That was $4. Along with the little painting I found at a bargain shop in town and the curtain I got at Big Lots for $3 because they couldn't find a price tag or one like it, the guest bedroom was decorated for $11 total. The lamp is on loan from my sister-in-law, and I put a rug that used to be in my living room at the foot of the bed to tie it all together. 

Our kitchen is small, but cozy and my favorite part about it is there is a little breakfast bar that faces the "dining room". There is a little peekaboo window with shutters that separate the kitchen and dining area. Keeping the shutters open makes the whole space look a lot bigger. I decorated both the kitchen and dining area with stuff I already had, so that was free! Yay!

 Dining Room

Peeking through the window into the kitchen

Our bedroom didn't take much to decorate either. We already had bedding, but no nightstands. We repurposed our old dvd stand as a nightstand, and we also repurposed my breakfast nook table. Even though it is my favorite, there wasn't a good place for it because the kitchen and dining area are smaller. So I covered it with a black tablecloth and put several of our wedding and engagement photos on it, along with some candles for a romantic look. I needed a new curtain for the window, so I bought a gray one for $9 at Walmart. It is one of those blackout curtains, because the light streams in our bedroom window super early in the morning, but once I hung it, it looked a little harsh and plain. It needed a feminine touch, so I drug out some of the tulle we had used in our wedding that I'd insisted on keeping, and made a pretty bow over the curtain to dress it up. I also plan to paint a picture to hang over our bed, but it works for now. 

 Bedroom

Table and curtain

And now on to my favorite, the living room...we got our amazing sectional sofa and coffee and end tables for a song with a totally God-ordained craigslist find last year (which also included almost all the furniture in our house!), and I already had my curtains. I had a hutch that I had found for $20 at a consignment shop last year, and I filled it with my grandmother's china, which I inherited after my Poppy passed away. I already mentioned the seven picture collage of our wedding photos, all taken by the lovely Angela Wisley and/or Hannah Schreiner, which I made the focal point of the room. I absolutely love it. But perhaps my favorite thing in the living room, or the whole house, for that matter, is the picture on the wall catty corner to those. It is my favorite picture ever of me and my husband, and it is from our engagement session with the lovely Angela Wisley.  I had mentioned to Angela (who also happens to be my sister-in-law) that I really wanted to order a canvas print of this particular photo because I loved it and it complemented our living room colors. Lo and behold, about a week after we moved in, I received a surprise GINORMOUS package in the mail. Angela had ordered it for us as a housewarming gift. Isn't she amazing??

 The living room

 Photo Collage, courtesy of  Angela Wisley and Hannah Schreiner

Best picture ever! Thank you, Angela!

I am so thankful for the home the Lord provided for us and the blessings He has poured out on us here. I hope you've enjoyed this little glimpse of our new home and that you were inspired to find inexpensive ways to dress up your house. Thanks again for reading.

Until next time,

Chels

Friday Favorites: Coffee from Abroad

When I was originally in the blog brainstorming stage and started tossing around blog topics, most of which seemed fairly fruitless, the only one that stuck even a little bit was blogging about passions of mine. I am a very passionate person. Those who know me will attest to this...granted, they have their own descriptions of what this looks like. I've heard myself described as animated, spirited, dramatic, prone to exaggerate slightly (okay, the slightly is my addition), easily excited... the list goes on. I prefer the word passionate; for one, I feel it is a more favorable description than the others. But mostly I like the word passionate because, while all those other words are true of me, passionate doesn't stop and end with me. When I tell people I'm passionate, they inevitably respond with, "Well, what are you passionate about?" Oh, sooooooooo many things. And that is no exaggeration :)

So I had resigned myself to writing a blog about my passions, aka favorites, aka all the people/places/things that have stolen a piece of my heart and taken permanent residence there. I figured that would give me at least 637 posts. The biggest problem was finding a name for my blog. The obvious answer was Passions, but I guess that is already the name of some soap opera and I didn't want people stumbling onto my blog when all they really wanted was to find out who accidentally married their brother in the next episode. Fortunately, now that we've moved here to Willoughby and started this new adventure, I have other content to write about besides just the things I'm passionate about, which I'm sure would have grown old day after day, both for the readers and writer. But I cannot move away from the idea of writing about my passions, because I want all of you to fall in love with my favorite things too! So, without further ado, I introduce:

FRIDAY FAVORITES

That looks a lot cheesier in writing than it sounded in my head. Oh well. I know Friday Favorites has probably been done before on a lot of other blogs, so I really wanted to pick another day and another name for it. But my fondness for alliteration won out, and as there is no day of the week beginning with "P", I couldn't name it _________ Passions. So, until I come up with a better word or until someone changes the names of the days of the week, I'm stuck with cheesy Friday Favorites.

Moving on from that super long introduction, today's favorite is Coffee from Abroad. This topic was chosen largely on the basis that I'm currently drinking Honduran coffee, courtesy of my sister Chloe and her latest mission trip. But current situation aside, I really do always love coffee, and particularly coffee that comes from another country. I'm not just talking about the coffee you can get from Starbucks that says "Colombian", or "Argentine", or "Chilean" on the bag. I'm talking about the, "Hey, I just got back from this tropical hot place and I bought you this huge bag of coffee from a street vendor there for US$1.27" coffee. For all my traveling friends, this is the BEST SOUVENIR EVER. Even for non-coffee drinkers. The scent alone is worth it. If I didn't drink it so fast, I would put these bags of coffee in every room in the house just for air fresheners. They smell amazing. And you may think I'm crazy, but it's not just a coffee smell.  If I wanted that, I'd buy a Yankee Hazelnut Coffee candle (okay, let's be honest...I'm way too cheap to buy Yankee. It'd be Walmart Mainstay Mocha or better yet, some Goodwill half-burned gem labeled "Javarrific". But you get the point). The smells produced from these international coffee beans/grounds awaken all my senses as they tell stories from their country of origin. I brew my Honduran coffee, and despite never having visited Honduras myself, I can almost picture myself there, walking the streets, hearing the Spanish chatter and the colorful sights in the marketplace. It's like they're creating memories...I know the skeptics out there are thinking, you can't actually "remember" a place that you've never visited. You probably think I'm crazy and that my pretend memories would best be labeled delusions, but hey, that's okay. I'm happy in my own little world. When you love traveling as much as I do but don't have the money to do it, you make up for it in the best ways you can.

I do actually have legitimate memories of places I've visited (more on them to come in later "favorite" posts), and many of these are tied to the taste and smell of the coffee I drank there. If you don't believe that smell is tied into memories, I have two things to say to you. (1) You are mistaken. It's proven. (2) If you still don't believe me, explain why someone can walk by wearing Calvin Klein Obsession for Men and you suddenly remember that first boyfriend who has not snuck into your brain for 6 years [Disclaimer: HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION]. But going back to the coffee=memories thing,  I will provide some examples. Those of you who know me know I have this huge thing for Brasil. Many of my Brasilian memories have coffee involved in them. I remember waking up there and having coffee with dear friends, sweetening the rich, black, hearty liquid with...wait for it....condensed milk. Sounds gross, I know, but don't knock it till you've tried it. Sugar addicts, take note. They're onto something. And then there's French coffee. I'm guessing it probably wasn't actually made in France, but whatever it was, it was très délicieux, which translates into English as mmmmmm. I drank many espressos in France, along with some of the creamiest lattes ever made. French coffee has its own characteristics that parallel everything about France: sophisticated, superior, high class. Yes, coffee can taste classy.

Dominican coffee, Bajan coffee (from Barbados), Mexican coffee (watch out... they sneak in tequila)... they all tell a story. There will always be something special about coffee from abroad. Because it's so special, I make it a treat. Most mornings, I brew whatever coffee I had a coupon for during the last grocery trip. Usually, I am rationing the spoonfuls of grounds, willing to drink a weaker brew if it means I make it last till I can afford the next $9 bag. As I rush around getting ready, I gulp down a cup and a half or so in my chipped black mug or my blue mug with the pharmaceutical company name stamped across it. And the coffee wakes me up and does the job it's supposed to do. But the best mornings are the ones when I get carried away by the smell of culture in a cup. Those mornings I indulge. I choose a bag from my (diminishing!) stash of international coffee. Heaping spoonfuls of the full-bodied grounds go into the coffee pot; I literally do a happy dance in the kitchen as I watch it brew, and then I pour the final results into my favorite extra-tall mug with the blue and orange flowers on it. Those mornings I don't rush; I sit down... sometimes I read... but mostly, I dream... and I remember.

Do you have a favorite coffee-related memory?

Until next time,
Chels

Welcome to Willoughby

Hello to our friends, family, and anyone who may have stumbled upon this blog! I have been wanting to blog for a long time, but never could quite settle on a good topic/theme/something worth reading. But then, quite suddenly, God decided to uproot our comfortable lives in good ol' Shelbyville and make us into official Northerners. I know there are a lot of reasons He did this, but I am convinced one small reason was to mercifully give me something to write about! This blog will be a way for us to stay in touch with our lovely Kentucky family and friends, along with keeping people updated on the amazing things God is doing up here.

If you don't know the circumstances behind our move, here is a short, "in a nutshell" version. My husband, Joel, and I have been feeling for quite some time something that I can only describe as a stirring. We didn't know what it meant or when we'd figure it out, but we both knew that God had something in store for us that we couldn't imagine. Through a series of events in which God made Himself abundantly clear about what He wanted us to do, we moved up to the Willoughby*, Ohio area to become involved in the work God is doing at a church here, Willoughby Baptist. We are not yet sure what exactly that will look like, but when God says, JUMP!, you don't say, "How high?"....you just trust Him and leap. Some days I still feel in the free-fall stage; fortunately, I do enjoy skydiving.

So now we've been in our new home for almost a week, getting unpacked and enjoying time with the lovely friends and family that joined us for the first few days. We became members at Willoughby Baptist this past Sunday and are looking forward to serving there in any way we can. God is up to something big! Can't wait to see what it is....

Pictures coming soon!
Until next time,
Chels

*Disclaimer: Because I know my mom and a handful of others who want to be technical are going to read this and say, Why do you keep saying you live in Willoughby but your mailing address is in Mentor?, I feel the need to clarify. Technically, we reside within the boundaries of Mentor. BUT... because our true home is our church, and we are located super close to Willoughby, and it sounds way better in the blog title with our last name, I will probably almost always refer to our home as Willoughby. Just settin' it straight from the get-go :)